Column 8
Sydney Morning Herald
Tuesday August 25, 2009
Hard on the heels of the new usage of deranged as a verb (Column 8, yesterday) comes this marvellous piece of ghastliness from the world of so-called reality TV. Still smarting over the notorious "turkey slap" incident on Big Brother in 2006, a new code of practice has been circulating among those who produce such rubbish, so as to avoid further unpleasantness. It seems that what actors can get away with on screen cannot be permitted by "real" participants. The thinking goes that when a member of the great unwashed does something obscene on TV, it is more "impactful", than when an actor is getting paid to do the same thing."Some may call me a pedant, but I was intrigued by the discussion of lifts in today's column," writes Graeme Innes, of Sydney (Column 8, Thursday). "Why would you want to close the door in a disabled lift, as it wouldn't be going anywhere? Perhaps you and your correspondent meant to say accessible lift." We will bow to Graeme's nit-pickery, as he is, after all, the Disability Discrimination Commissioner for the Australian Human Rights Commission."I took over the school at Tuena in 1966," writes Garry Donnelly, of Repton. "On inspection of the punishment book, dating back to about 1900, the most frequent wielder of the cane was a Mr Birch. On a more important matter, when and by whom was the pronunciation of 'distribute' and 'contribute' changed from the emphasis on the second syllable to an emphasis on the first and third syllables?" We have no idea, but agree that they deserve a sound thrashing."Having flown around the USA a bit in the last few weeks," writes Nick van Weelden, of Isaacs, ACT, "I noticed that ground staff have substituted 'at this moment' for 'now'. As in 'at this moment we are boarding flight XYZ'. Perhaps readers know of other examples where one word has been replaced by three or more. My contribution is that US troops in Iraq no longer go on night patrol, they now (sorry, at this moment) go out at AOL (absence of light). No kidding.""With regard to the Golden Syrup from New Zealand and the Paddle Pops from China," writes Cathy Kell, of Northbridge (Column 8, last week), "while in the US I bought some Aussie 'Catch the Wave' shampoo. The packing advises that 'When you wave goodbye, your hair will wave too. That way people will think you are extra nice', and urges us to 'add some roo to your do'.""The Agriturismo website, Villas in Tuscany" reports Anthony Franklin, of Wahroonga, "offers one that has 'your matrimonial room with private toilet and shower, with an ulterior toilet with shower, for your comfort'. For what motive the latter, I wonder?""You need to stop misapplying random scientific terms in a feeble attempt to prolong discussion on a pointless topic," Joel Alexander, of Kensington advises us. We would normally ignore such advice, but we did confuse Schroedinger's Cat with Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle on Friday, which is, we must admit, inexcusable.Column8@smh.com.au(no attachments please).Phone 9282 2207 fax 9282 2772. (include name, suburb, daytime phone)
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